101 THINGS SAMMI CAN NO LONGER DO IN BALDUR'S GATE I AND II
1. I cannot use the DSM to diagnose my party members.
2. Portalbendarwinden is not a hobo, and I should really stop calling him one.
3. No matter how hard we try, Imoen, Xan, and I are not a horde of rampaging tarrasques.
4. My battle cry is not "It's super happy fun-fun time!"
5. Nor is it "OKAY, ON THE COUNT OF THREE, EVERYONE CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE SAME TIME!"
6. I can't use "Remember the Alamo" either.
7. Plan A is not 'Hide behind Minsc and shoot arrows over his shoulders.'
8. Plan B is not 'Send Xan in first, he's doomed anyway.'
9. Plan C is not 'Summon a bunch of elementals, then run like hell!'
10. Xan does NOT scream like a little girl and run away every time we fight kobolds, and I should not keep him away from the battle 'in the